Reality just slapped me in the face!!!

So, I know that I've gained a large amount of weight over the past few years.  I've accepted the fact that I'm back up to the point where I was the last time I began this journey (weigh-in coming on Monday!).  

What I didn't realize is just how out-of-shape I let myself become.  I'm not a sedentary person, but I haven't "exercised" in who knows how long.  The most exercise I've gotten as of late has been practicing the choreography with my 5th graders for their play, or doing folk dances in my classes.  

Last night, I went to a yoga class at Yogaholic in Center Moriches (I purchased a Groupon deal for 2 months of unlimited classes for $49.  The deal is still available if you're interested).  I LOVED the class, but I was horribly upset to find myself unable to do things I had easily done in the past.

I will make one excuse, and I had my husband check to make sure it was a valid one and not just one I'm making up to make myself feel better.  The yoga mat I bought is so slippery, I couldn't hold any poses without slipping.  It will be returned, and a stickier one will be purchased.

That being said, man, I suck!!!  I really can't believe how weak my muscles have become.  I did get upset about it for a good hour or so, but I've flipped it around.  Now, my mantra is "this is my starting point."  I can't change where I am right now, but I can change where I'm going to be!  The only place to go from here is up, and that's where I'm going!!!

I'm still frikkin cute, though :-)

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It's been a while...

It's been a little over a year since my past post, and what a year it has been.  I think this has been the most difficult year of my life in many ways.  The school year started with many changes that stressed me out and continued throughout the year.  

Then, Sandy hit.  Most of you, I'm sure, know that our house was flooded.  I left with the dogs, and came home to this:

This is about 9 hours after the storm had passed.  I couldn't drive to our house, because the roads were only passable by boat (not joking!).  I had to park a few blocks away, and trudged through the water to get to my home.  It was surreal.  I wish I had thought to take video of me making my way home.  It felt like a war zone.  You would drive down a block and eventually hit a tree, power lines, or water, and would have to turn around and find another way.  It was like a huge maze, you had to find the one clear path.

Our house, luckily, is built up on our property, but the historical storm surge was just too much.  The water only came in about an inch or two, but that was enough.  Between the corrosive salt water, spilled water tanks, sewage, etc., we knew it was going to be a mess.

The rest of the year was spent arguing with insurance companies, banks, and contractors, and we're still not done.  The silver lining is that our house will be pretty much brand new, but I haven't been able to see that positive aspect yet.  Maybe when we are done with everything, I will be able to breathe.

Between work, the storm, and life in general, I can honestly say that I became depressed.  A few doctors suggested that I go on medication, but I didn't because I'm stubborn.  I probably should have.  I didn't want to be social, I ate lots of crap, and just shut down.  And I didn't care.

This all brings me to this week.  I knew I had to wake up, I knew I gained a lot of weight, but I really just didn't care enough to do anything about it.  Until now.  I finally got on the scale yesterday, and I can't believe how much weight I put on.  For the first time in my blogging journey, I am not going to post my weight, because I'm just so embarrassed.  

Instead of further beating myself up about it, I'm going to use it as incentive to get my butt back in gear!  Back to the gym I went, and out to the grocery store right after.  I forgot how much less it costs to buy healthy food then processed garbage.  My cart was full of produce and lean proteins, and I was sure it was going to be another $80 trip to the store, as many of my pasts trips have been.  It was half that, $40!  And so much good food!

To my friends who stood by me during this difficult year:  Thank you!  Thank you for understanding, helping, and supporting me.  We will be having a big party once the house is done!!!

So, the adventure begins again.  I'm back!!!

Weekly Weigh In

This whole weight loss thing is hard!!!  The spring ended up being extremely difficult for me, my schedule was insanely busy.  That didn't help me get back on track, in fact I did the opposite.  I didn't track, didn't work out, didn't make good choices, but it's in the past.  Now that school's out for the summer, I'm taking advantage of the time I have to REALLY get myself back in the swing of things.  It's only been a week, but I've been to the gym every day and have been tracking everything that goes into my mouth.  


My goal is to go to the gym at least every day during the week.  Once I get used to it again, I ultimately want to go in the morning to do my elliptical and weight training and then go back in the evenings for some of the classes.  


I am fortunate enough to have a grocery store with great produce on the way home, as well as a great seafood market, so I end up going there almost daily to get whatever I feel like cooking and knowing it's fresh.  


When I'm not working out or cooking, I need to keep busy!  I volunteer with a local animal welfare and rescue group (RSVP- find us on Facebook!) and plan to be as active as I can with that while I have the time.   Hopefully that will be enough to get my butt going again!!!


Alright, it's truth time.  I'm back up to 200.8 lbs.  VERY unhappy about that.  I have never had such the urge to strip naked in public to get rid of those .81 pounds just to get that nasty 2 away from the front, but it is what it is, and at least I'm mentally ready to do something about it!

This is my "I got this!" face

It's on like Donkey Kong, yo!

Today is day #1, for the 3rd time!

I have been off my routine, as you can probably tell by my lack of posting.  I haven't been completely off, but I haven't been exercising as much as I usually do and I've only been tracking my food half of the time.  I'm sure that tonight when I weigh in I will be back over 190.  It is what it is.  My brain hasn't been in the game lately, and I'm not sure why.  


Today, it's all going to change.  I'm back in the mind-frame of putting myself first, and taking the time and steps necessary to continue on this journey.  I'm not going to let any more time go by wasted.  So far- all food tracked, meals prepared ahead of time, gym scheduled into my day even though it's going to be later than I like, it's still going to happen because it's important.  


Here's a great video shared by Mike B., a fellow WW member (who recently became a lifetime member- congrats!!!).  Simple message, important point!  Take the time to watch it, it's worth it!  And so are you!!!

It's a New Holiday!

Today is officially "Get Back On Track" Day!  Between my birthday and many other things, I haven't been the best WW member in the world.  Last week I lost the weight I gained the week before, so that was good, but I know that this week was bad.  I'm opting out of weighing in tonight for the first time EVER since last December.  I know that I should weigh in just to know where I'm at, but I know I've gained something and think it would just depress me at this point instead of inspire me to lose again, so I'm going to work really hard this week to not have a gain next week.  I don't know if it will work, but it makes sense to me, and that's what counts!


Planning ahead has been my weakness lately.  It's been extremely busy.  I don't have everything I need in the house, I've been getting home late and not wanting to cook, the list of excuses could go on and on.  It changes NOW!  I've already tracked my entire day, planned everything out with ingredients I know I have at home.  


I'm starting off my 27th year with optimism!!!

I'm still alive, I promise!

Sorry I haven't posted in a while.  I haven't been back on track since I left for vacation.  Between that, the hurricane, and school starting, I've been feeling overwhelmed.  I'm back now!


Yesterday was my first day 100% back on plan.  I tracked everything, went back to the gym, and went to my personal training session with some friends from work.  I feel good, and all it took was being in the right frame of mind again.  


Last week I gained .2 lbs, this week I lost 3 lbs.  I'm back down to 188 lbs, a total of 34 down from where I started.  Next week you can look forward to regular posting resuming, I promise!!!

Goodbye Summer!

Well, the time has come.  It's Labor Day, and summer is over.  Work starts again tomorrow, leaving the weekends to grab the last warm rays of sun before autumn fully sets in.  


I have a very good feeling about this school year, in more ways than one.  I believe my weight loss is going to start back up.  I haven't been back on track since my vacation, not tracking my foods, not measuring anything out.  It's nice, but I know it's hurting me.  


I've got a batch of white bean turkey chili going for lunches and dinners during the week.  I'm planning out my meals so that when I go shopping, I know exactly what I need and what I'll be eating when.  The year is busy and crazy, but that means I have to plan ahead, and I work well that way.  


I'm going to get back on track with the gym as well.  It's so much easier for me to go there on my way home from work instead of leaving the house to go there.  I got my new knee brace, so hopefully that will allow me to continue to push myself.


My birthday is October 8.  This year I'm turning 27.  My goal as of now is to reach 140lbs by the time I turn 28.  That's over a year to lose 50lbs.  I can, and WILL, do it!!!!!


To all of my fellow teachers:  Have a great school year!  Here we go...

Meh

I'm not happy.  I'm up even more.  192.2 lbs.  I'm angry, slightly depressed, but overly determined now to undo what I've done.  Between stress eating and delicious, fatty barbecues (OMG we make awesome ribs!) and some alcoholic beverages, I've done some damage


As I told my husband last night- "I like losing weight more than I like food."  The good feeling from losing weight lasts so much longer than the good feeling from eating a meal.  Plus, I enjoy eating healthy foods!  I've been lazy and taking the easy way out by choosing what's in front of me instead of choosing something better for myself.


It's go time people.  The school year is almost over, and I'm going to be a weight-loss machine.  Starting now, whether I like it or not!  


My plan is to have a bite of my husband's ribs (thanks!) and then move on to the chicken and veggies.  I've been slacking on stocking my house with the veggies I love, so I need to step it up.  If I want to have a drink, I'm allowing myself to have 2 drinks only one night a week.  By planning ahead, I should be able to make all of this happen!

I'm Back, and Biking to the Beach!

Apologies first for my lack of posting the last few days.  I've had some personal issues that I needed to focus all of my time on, but things are better now, so I can spare some time to blog!


I did gain this week.  I'm back up to 190 lbs, but I expected it because I was stress eating due to everything going on in my life.  I'm not sure how this week will go since I'm still working on things and my schedule is busy, but I'm determined to get back on track ASAP.  I've been back into a workout routine, so far, so good.


I finally rode my bike to the beach!  It was so much easier than I thought.  I made Chris come with me just incase something happened.  The most worrisome part for me was going across the bridge with my knee.  The incline wasn't as bad as I thought, and I was fine!  YAY!! Not only will I save money by not having to pay to park my car, but I'll get in a little exercise, too!  


My plan for most of my summer days is to wake up by 8, have breakfast, hit the gym early, then come home and bike to the beach.  I hope to be able to bike to the gym soon, too, but I'm not ready for that, yet.  It's further away, and the streets are busy.  I need to build up my confidence first.


I can't wait for summer!  This weekend was such a nice taste of what I have to look forward to in 4 weeks!

Overboard!

I went was overboard with eating this weekend!  I didn't track anything!  That feels so strange, since I've been very diligent with everything I consume since December!  I know I ate way too much of really bad foods, but I also know that's okay.


I am going back into this gung-ho!  I'm going to be very strict this week, and have sort of a food detox week, eating all healthy, nutritious foods and getting my exercise back on track.  I felt so gross after eating this weekend, it was really bad. 


I bought all my fruits and veggies for my green smoothies,  and I found ground flax seed for a healthy addition.  My chicken is all ready for lunch, and my carrots and snacks are ready to go! I've worked the gym into my schedule every day this week (except Thursday and Friday)!  


Wish me luck in kick-starting my weight loss again!

Back to Normal (again)

Last night's concert was great!!!  And now my schedule is back to normal (for the most part).  This week really has been a crazy food week, with multiple birthday celebrations, celebratory luncheons and long days and nights at work.  Who knows what the weigh in will bring.  I've already decided that whatever will be will be, and at least I know that I'm getting back on track.


I actually have a few hours to relax, and then I'm going to yoga tonight!  I can't wait!!!

Weekend

This weekend was a rough one, food wise.


Friday night we took my parents out for Mother's Day to our favorite Italian restaurant.  I didn't do too much damage here- started with a barley mushroom soup, and then had steak pizzaiola and a small piece of veal parmigiana.  The issue came after, when Chris and I decided to get a treat at Carvel.  I ordered a soft-serve twist, but didn't realize until afterwards that I forgot to get the low-fat versions!  Oh well, you gotta live, right?  I got over it...


On Saturday, we went over to Chris' families house to celebrate his cousins and his birthday.  I bought him his favorite pie to bring along, but he didn't want to share it!  So, we had a piece at the house, and then bought some yummy cookies to bring along.  I ate way too many cookies, they were so good (the long ones with the jelly in the middle and dipped in chocolate).  Food overdose.


I tracked everything, and didn't go over my weekly points, but I still feel guilty and gross.  My eating is back to normal, and hopefully I didn't mess up my progress.  We'll see later in the week!

Baltimore Bound!

Heading into Baltimore today for a music conference!  Today's a busy travel day, so I don't have time for a large update.  Starting the day off with my yogurt and packing many fig bars so that at any point throughout the next few days, if I'm a little hungry, I have a guilt-free snack right there!


Interesting fact- Baltimore has very few Weight Watchers centers.  I may not be able to weigh-in until next week!  I'm still going to attempt to find some place I can get to, but if not, you and I will all have to wait in suspense until next week!

Thank You's and Issues!

I have to say that starting this blog has been such a great motivator for me.  I've received so much positive feedback from all of you, and it's kept me going when I feel like just giving up.  Thank you all for that.


I would also like to thank my friend Billy N. who was thoughtful enough to design an amazing header for this blog!  That was so nice of you!


These next few weeks are going to be rough!  I'm extremely busy, stressed, and fighting off a cold.  Back at college, I developed a nerve issue in my neck from supporting my bassoon during long rehearsals.  I would get a burning, shooting pain from my left shoulder up through my neck.  Nothing helped it but time.  It was debilitating whenever it occurred, and left me in tears.  Even though the bassoon isn't around anymore, the nerve issue struck up again!  


It started the other week in the car.  You know when you turn your head, and it snaps itself back?  Yeah, that hurts a lot.  Then it happened again a few weeks later.  Then by the end of last week, my neck thing started happening again.  I know I've been tense because I'm stressed, and I think that did it.  I haven't been using my left arm much because I don't want to aggravate it.  I tried to go to the gym yesterday and just let that arm hang while I did some cardio, but even that got it hurting, so I'm taking a few days off.  


Hopefully my busy schedule will offset my lack of exercise this week.  I'm still eating well, so that's half of the battle.  We'll see by the end of the week!